Sexual Confidence


It is much more important than technique.                          

If you are lacking confidence, pretend. Reminding yourself of several important facts can help with confidence:

  • The person you are about to have sex with obviously likes you. In fact they like you so much that they want to share their body with you.

  • Because your partner likes you, they are probably going to be nice to you.

  • If you are embarrassed during sex, admit it and laugh about it. If you can make light of it so will they.

  • If your partner is rude or critical it is their problem and usually related to their own insecurities. Don't take it personally. You'll have more fun with someone else.

  • Sex is about fun and pleasure. Don't take it so seriously. Nobody's perfect.

Being a good lover is a lifelong learning experience. You are not a good lover because of the number of sexual partners you have had or sexual skills you have mastered.  What works for one person will not work for another. What is more, what works on one occasion may not work on another occasion. Human sexual response is complex. Rather than trying to work out a routine take notice of the way your partner responds.

Your ability to respond to your partner's needs and desires makes you a good lover. Watch and listen to your lover; see how they respond to different types of touch. Are they pulling away and tensing up or are they moving in close toward you? Are they sighing, relaxing or moaning or are they quiet and aloof. Vary your touch and see what makes a difference.

Finally, it is not all about giving. Those who can not receive sexual pleasure are depriving their partner. One way sex, if it happens all the time, is limited. Put as much effort into asking for what you want and allowing yourself to receive as you do into providing pleasure for you partner.